Pregnant and unwed at 19, her parents kicked her out after she refused abortion

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ILLUSTRATION: PEXELS

1 April 2022 | The Straits Times

SINGAPORE – When Sophie found out she was pregnant at 19 last year, her parents issued her an ultimatum: Get an abortion or get married.

She chose to tie the knot.

But Sophie (not her real name) and her chef boyfriend, who is five years older, broke up before their wedding after a big fight.

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Pregnant at 19 & kicked out of house, S’porean single mum defends choice to keep pregnancy & raise baby

MSF JOSH

19 March 2022 | Mothership

From the time Jenny (not her real name) welcomed her youngest sister to the family eight years ago, she knew that one day, she would become a mother.

“Even though she’s my sister, she always felt like my kid as well. She made me realise that I want to be a mother,” said Jenny.

“But never did I think that I’ll be doing this alone.”

And definitely not at 19.

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Turning Trauma Into Strength: How Jennifer Heng Helps Pregnant Mums In Distress

Screenshot at PM

7 March 2022 | City of Good

Jennifer Heng is a calming presence. She answers each question during our interview thoughtfully, sharing the work of Safe Place – an initiative she founded in 2018 that offers shelter and help for women going through unsupported pregnancies.

Safe Place is a labour of love for Jennifer. The initiative (in partnership with Lakeside Family Services) is run on the backs of some 200 volunteers, including Jennifer herself – more on that later!

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More support needed for ground-up initiatives that empower vulnerable groups: President Halimah


6 July 2021 | The Straits Times

Ground-up initiatives play a key role in empowering and supporting vulnerable groups, and more support from the community is needed especially during the Covid-19 pandemic, said President Halimah Yacob in a Facebook post on Tuesday (July 6).

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Heart Warmers 岛屿温度EP 12| Angel Hearts/Safe Place 

17 June 2021 | Mediacorp Channel 8

A production by Mediacorp Channel 8 featuring Safe Place, and another non-profit organisation, Angel Hearts.

She Offers Love, Understanding, and a Safe Place for Women Undergoing Unwanted Pregnancies

Safe Place Jennifer

30 January 2020 | The Pride | By Patricia Siswandjo

 

By 19, she had gone through two abortions.

She had a difficult childhood. When she was 14, her father left, leaving her mother to provide for her family.

Frustrated that her life was falling apart, she would lash out and that led to a fractured relationship with her mother.

She dealt with it seeking solace in a string of unhealthy relationships.

But that soon came with its own set of problems: She got pregnant — twice.

She was alone, scared, and unsure of what to do, which led to her fateful decisions.

Speaking to The Pride, Jennifer Heng, now 44, recalled: “As a teen, I didn’t really know how to process the feelings I had towards what was happening at home.”

She was 17 when she had her first abortion. As the unborn baby was already 22 weeks old, Heng underwent induced labour. She spent eight excruciating hours giving birth to a still-born boy.

During her induced labour, Heng called out in desperation for help, but no one was in the clinic to hear her. The medical staff had gone for lunch and Heng did not have anyone with her for emotional support.

She thought she would never have to go through that trauma again.

But barely two years later, at 19, Heng aborted her second baby, who was six weeks old.

She wanted to move on, but was haunted by her memories

Heng felt relieved at the end of each abortion, thinking her problems were solved.

Those feelings lasted only for a while.

She explained: “Initially, I felt a great sense of relief, and thought I could move on. But that soon turned into a nagging guilt and fear that I was not a good person.”

Heng added that she was often plagued by dark thoughts. She grew to fear children, and hated being around them. She was easily irritated by conversations about pregnancy or childbirth. She also feared what her future partner would think of her.

She added: “I felt that the abortions created new fears and worries in my life.”

For about five years after her second abortion, Heng felt lost and unsure of what to do with her life.

Everything changed for the better when, in her mid-20s, she attended a Christian course.

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CNA938 – Radio Interview

14 January 2020 | CNA938

 

Part 1:

What drives a mum-to-be to give up her child for adoption? It’s a question that’s been raised, after a baby boy was found abandoned in the bin of a rubbish chute in Bedok North a week ago. CNA938’s Joshua Vong chats with Jennifer Heng, Director of Safe Place -, an initiative of Lakeside Family Services, to find out more.

Part 2:

What can you do, if you or your loved one is facing an unwanted pregnancy? CNA938’s Joshua Vong speaks with Jennifer Heng, Director of Safe Place, an initiative which aims to empower women and families with unsupported pregnancies to make life-giving choices. She explains why there are still some young mums who don’t get the help they need.

Safe Place to Shelter Distressed Mums-to-be

Safe Place to Shelter Distressed Mums

1 October 2018 | The Straits Times

 

New facility will offer temporary refuge to women without financial or family support.

Full Story | Download

Passion Made Possible
心想狮城

Passion Made Possible featured

5 March 2018 | Nuyou

 

Supporting women with unplanned pregnancies is what this counsellor does.

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